The content of the article:
- Autohoroscope from 1 to 7 April
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Cancer
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fishes
It is no secret that gasoline does not grow in the garden, you will not find gasoline for free. But in April, we see a hopeless traffic jam of hundreds of cars on every road. So we stand under a sad beeping sound, and wait either from the sea for the weather, or from above innovations. Here are the drivers and the road equation for you - why does fuel become more expensive, and there are more and more cars on the highways ?! Well, okay - let's not stuff our heads with nonsense, we'd better laugh. At the beginning of the week, everyone celebrates April Fools' Day. Traffic cops have a white back, two-legged shoelaces are tied together, and guys who dream of relaxing at the bus stop waiting for the bus endlessly sit on buttons and painted benches. Well at least there is no confusion with traffic lights - there is no laughing matter.
Autohoroscope from 1 to 7 April
Aries
Aries, well, rushed off at a speed of 15 km per hour - no more acceleration, there are cameras everywhere, speed bumps and vigilant traffic cops. It would seem that April has come, the tracks are dry, everyone has changed their shoes into brand new tires, no one breaks the rules. But some drivers seem to have not driven for a hundred years - they strive to overtake, cut off and even beep indignantly - they say that you are so slow and sluggish. Ignore the reckless drivers - these spring days you have one task: to get to work and not get stuck in traffic. It's real - you just need to change to a tram. Well, even if the fare has risen in price - it is still cheaper than by car. But the horse will rest and think about its hard iron fate.
Taurus
Taurus, you are real supermen, and the machine is no worse - look what a formidable and purposeful one. Even the traffic cops are afraid to approach you. But if thoughtful passengers with pieces of paper covered with numbers and all sorts of equations come to you, do not try to deceive them and count the wrong fare - these are mathematicians, and they have a holiday today (albeit unofficial). Let them compose a formula for driving happiness for you, although you yourself know it: a comfortable seat, a long and flat road, no patrols on the highways and delicious coffee in a thermos. Oh yes - still calm and undemanding fellow travelers - so that they don't ask to go to the toilet, don't be clever and don't kick in the seats.
Twins
Gemini, we rush past the patrol post and do not see traffic signals, we rush to no one knows where, having purchased spare parts from auto-parsing. Yes, you have a lucky week - we found the necessary parts, purchased the necessary accessories for the wheelbarrow, and even cheaply grabbed covers for almost new ones. It remains to change the horseshoes of the iron horse - and you are ready for work and a long journey. By the way, on these April days you don't have to take a thermos of coffee with you - the aromatic drink is sold everywhere, even in traffic jams. The people celebrate the spring birthday of the coffee grinder - even the traffic cops have put aside their striped sticks and hold coffee cups in their handles, protruding their little fingers (good manners cannot be hidden under uniforms).
Cancer
Crayfish, is it good to race on dry asphalt? Of course, well, you say, unless you pay attention to the condition of the roads in the side streets - it seems that the dirt will never disappear there. And pedestrians see off the drivers with envious glances and grumble after either curses or wishes of a good journey. Only the grandmothers are running around happy - a little more, a little more, and the summer cottage season will be open. And the buses of old women will be taken, and bushes of seedlings and skinny seedlings will stick out of the windows. Conclusion - give the summer residents a lift to the place - maybe they will tell you how to properly care for the car so that it does not rust, or they will share the secret of perfect order in the garage (although this is already from the realm of fantasy).
A lion
Lions, do not cry, still stand in the traffic jam for three hours, the sausage is rotting on the sandwiches, and the coffee is already drunk, and they are waiting for the car in the garage, but you are a driver, don’t cry - don’t worry, the stars have not switched to "you" and to you with all due respect. After all, you have something to respect - firstly, you are automotive geniuses, secondly, you can boast of a great driving experience, and thirdly, you have the most disciplined passengers. The list of praise can be continued indefinitely, but the traffic jam is over, it's time to go. Pay attention to the traveling butterflies - the girls dressed up in tracksuits. Alas, this is not for long - they are celebrating World Health Day. Traffic cops also keep up and run around the posts in brand new sneakers.
Virgo
Virgos, stars have recently looked into the store - it turns out that there are so many things for car repairs that our eyes run up. Only wrenches can be viewed all day - and open-end, and ring, and with built-in ratchets, and with flag switches. Well, the drivers of your sign know all this, so let's not get distracted and go out of town - yes, yes, the April path leads exactly there. You need to hide from trams - these hulks do not go on country roads. People celebrate the birthday of the Moscow tram, and pieces of iron flooded all the streets (even the car has nowhere to stick it in). There is a suspicion that there will always be trams - perhaps someone needs it.
Scales
Libra, the oil crisis is endless, but modern motorists are ready to do anything to get them allowed to drive. Chauffeurs can deprive themselves of breakfast and save money on gasoline, they can stay awake at night and earn extra money as a private driver - and what sacrifices will you make so that you are not separated from the iron horse? Think about it in another April traffic jam, but for now slow down next to those funny pedestrians. The two-legged stocked up on seeds and feed the birds - this spring, everyone celebrates the International Day of the Birds. Just throw a cover on the typewriter - otherwise well-fed pigeons with gorged sparrows will fly in and do their dirty deeds right on the hood or on the trunk.
Scorpion
Scorpions, the rod flashes in the darkness again, and the traffic cop looms in the window, and the wallet is losing weight from fines again and again. A belt caught on something, and a new door jammed, the navigator specifically distracted us from the route. Yes, get ready for a tough week - patrols scoff, pedestrians rage, drivers get annoyed. It seems that soon the "speed bumps" will rise and dump away from the lawlessness. In general, there are no roads, but you hold on. Indeed, on April Thursday, a surprise awaits the drivers of your sign. But faint-hearted motorists are better off not opening the trunk. There are rats - toothy creatures celebrate World Day of the rats. Lure them out with cheese - the iron horse is not happy with such passengers.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, there is pandemonium on the zebras, confusion on the sidewalks, chaos on the roads in general - probably everyone is happy with the onset of April, and everyone celebrates the warm days in their own way. Someone rushes to the red traffic light, and someone is in no hurry to get under way. Conclusion - do not break the rules, do not follow the example of reckless drivers and brakes, and everything will be fine for you. Maybe they'll give you a certificate for a good ride - hang it in the garage and brag to your neighbors' chauffeurs. And pour tea from a thermos and pour soup there - and refresh yourself, and celebrate International Soup Day. You can share with the traffic cops, just catch the onion - suddenly you come across patrolmen who hate him.
Capricorn
Capricorns, the stars know that you do not like ostentation and prefer to drive in a cozy old Niva, not envious of the drivers who roll out on fancy, but uncomfortable cars of the new generation. Everything in the cabin of your car is made soundly, you still want to protect yourself from the sounds of strangers - but, alas, alas.No one will be saved from the "left" noises - even the traffic cops suffer, their radio is constantly muttering, and the driver is shouting at them endlessly. And try not to accelerate - pedestrians are now scattered and chatting on their mobile phones all the time. It's understandable, because they celebrate the birthday of a mobile phone (by the way, the experimental model was assembled in the Soviet Union, and it weighed as much as three kilos).
Aquarius
Aquarians filled a full tank so as not to slow down in vain, but the quality is such that we cannot steer. And there is a puddle in front, and the headlights are off, but the drivers laugh and say all the time: cool, it's cool for us to drive. Well, you understand what the stars are hinting at - do not panic because of road troubles, because you will still find your happy track and your wonderful companion (and even a wonderful traffic cop). And on this April Saturday you can ride even in the dark - people make fires, drive out evil spirits, and celebrate the spring holiday "Artemon take the snake". But do not let the machine get close to the flame - although it is obedient with you, it is still a predator and does not like to look at the fire.
Fishes
Pisces, the traffic cop argued with the driver who is more important. So they argue to this day, but they do not know that the most important character on the road is a pedestrian! For him, there are no rules - he wanted to, ran to red, wanted to, ignored the zebra or did not notice the traffic light. It's time to start raising two-legged - put a couple of the most inveterate violators in your car and block the doors (until the rules are learned, do not let them out). But do not bring bearded men with backpacks filled with minerals - these guys will re-educate anyone themselves, and their luggage is heavy, and the iron horse does not like overloading. In addition, serious peasants always follow the rules - these are geologists, and they have a holiday in April.
