Car horoscope for the week of May 22-28

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  1. Auto horoscope from 22 to 28 May
    • Aries
    • Taurus
    • Twins
    • Cancer
    • a lion
    • Virgo
    • scales
    • Scorpion
    • Sagittarius
    • Capricorn
    • Aquarius
    • Fishes


There is not a single car on the highways, there is silence and tranquility around, and if there is some seedy traffic cop, on closer inspection he turns out to be an ordinary mirage. Oh, the heavenly bodies apologize - at the moment they flew over the desert and thought. Let's return to our tracks, or rather, to our off-road - in these May days everything is as usual. Although, some changes in drivers await - traffic jams will become twice as long, and the patrol guys will be even angrier and more demanding. But what is there to be surprised at - this week is the day of the turtle, cars crawl at a speed of ten kilometers per hour, so the traffic cops are nervous (there is even no one to be fined).

Auto horoscope from 22 to 28 May

Aries

Aries, a wonderful week is expected - this is exactly what your funny iron horse thinks, and you will have to agree with her. Well, and what - the steering wheel is spinning, the pedals are pressed, what else to dream of on dusty roads? Remember how the cat Leopold? Sadness does not lie in the heart, and the path runs into the distance, in general, something like this. And do not pay attention to road changes - Anatoly Karpov's birthday falls on this week in May, so his fans are freaking out. Either they will castling among the cars for no reason at all, then they will stop at the traffic police post, imagining themselves to be chess kings (well, at least they don’t turn into elephants, and don’t drive obliquely).

Taurus

Taurus, this road week is going to be interesting. Summer is approaching, which means the beach season is coming soon. And old women endlessly come up with fun - grandmothers drive on roller skates, and on bicycles, and on scooters. Radio-controlled carts will soon be invented to transport endless seedlings and seedlings. So they would arrange summer cottages right on the road - but what, the crop can be sold immediately, and there is no need to go anywhere (if we talked to the traffic cops, they would gladly share in it). By the way, do not be alarmed if you meet a strange bearded driver in a dress at the wheel of a fashionable car - the peasant woman Conchita Wurst celebrates 61 years from the first Eurovision song contest (although, the chauffeurs do not need to know this name at all).

Twins

Gemini, May is almost over, and puddles and pits on the roads speak of something completely different - it's a mess, and it's a mess in Africa. Although it is unlikely that our utilities will be allowed into hot countries. But you steer and do not be distracted by stellar predictions - only traffic jams will be new this week (to be precise, whole holes are huge and hopeless, like our tracks). When you get ready for the trip, do not forget to throw a few towels in the trunk - these spring days are celebrating the holiday of towels. If you don’t mind, donate rags to drivers or traffic cops, at the same time show off your knowledge - the holiday is not accidental, this is a tribute to the memory of the writer Douglas Adams.

Cancer

Cancers, you won't be bored these days in May: now it's interesting on the tracks, the traffic cop is spinning like a top, maybe a bee has bitten him? And nearby the old women staged a rally - the rains interfere with work in the summer cottages, so the pensioners found something to do. By the way, about the rains - check the wipers, otherwise mechanical friends can get capricious at the most inopportune moment. Gas stations will not be crowded this spring, and especially in May - maybe they have a competition for the queen of the gas station? It is better not to go out of town - the people celebrate the day of Lukerya Komarnitsa, and mosquitoes also celebrate (bloodsuckers know that these days it is impossible to kill them, and they even bite into iron horses).

A lion

Lions, just look - what a pretty trunk of the iron horse standing in front. Your car is even glad that it got into such a terrible traffic jam - you can admire it, even until the evening. Do not waste your nerves and do not beep how much in vain - the congestion from the sounds will not dissipate. In general, the stars advise to stay at home or ride a bike on these May days. So lubricate the chain, check the steering wheel with pedals and go. You can attach the basket and put the knick-knacks from the glove compartment into it. Just don't stop near the traffic cops - they waved the baton at you, besides, the patrol guys naively think that there is nothing to take from the cyclists (do not disappoint the guys and keep the money with you).

Virgo

Virgo, be attentive as you approach the crosswalks - this week is Libraries Day, and the librarians are lofty and distracted. Just look, they will sit on a zebra and begin to reread War and Peace (and this, you know, will take a long time). Your car is also an educated creature and sometimes surprises with its knowledge - in traffic rules she is a craftswoman, and she knows so many road tales that it will plug any trucker into his belt (there was simply no case to tell). You really try to match and turn on the radio not only for entertainment - the iron horse prefers to listen exclusively to classical music or radio performances these May days.

Scales

Libra, this week on the roads it is not clear what - the drivers are strange, the traffic cops are mysterious, and the pedestrians look like aliens. Maybe the invasion of the earth really happened? Do not rush to drive the car into the bunker - on these May days, the day of the chemist is celebrated, so everyone goes crazy slowly (who chemistry, who studies the periodic table, and who uses the liquid according to the well-known formula). You can celebrate the holiday in your own way - mix shampoo with water, add baking soda, and wash your favorite iron horse with this amazing mixture. Just do not be surprised when other cars start to flirt with your car - the four-wheeled girlfriend shines so that it is difficult to remain indifferent.

Scorpion

Scorpions, so everyone is going somewhere, in a hurry, but at least one driver asked his iron horse: what is he dreaming about, and why is his engine humming so plaintively? The plans of the car do not at all coincide with your desires - you go to the office, and the car dreams of a trip to the river, you go to your friends, and the iron capricious strives to rush to the country. You will come to an agreement somehow so that the machine will not be offended. By the way, on these days in May, Makarevich's fans have a holiday - about fifty years ago they created the legendary group "Time Machine". Listen and enjoy, just don't miss the new twist you want - it will bring a lot of interesting adventures.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, you are Sagittarius by the sign of the zodiac, and your car, by its nature, shoots with eyes, that is, headlights back and forth. Cars are ready to get stuck in an eternal traffic jam, just to make friends with your charming iron friend. You can spin a romance yourself, if, of course, you are free - this week is Guzeeva's birthday, and her advice from the program "Let's Get Married" may be useful to you. But it is advisable to communicate with useful people on these days in May. Even a grandpa in a nondescript Zhiguli can be useful to you - you don't even know how many interesting gizmos he has in the trunk. But you do not need an uncle in a huge Jeep - there are only show-off, and zero sense.

Capricorn

Capricorns, steer and don't worry about anything - on these May days the road will be smooth, even and so perfect that it's even boring. If you want variety, go out of town - there is fun nowadays, especially in places where traffic cops congregate. And remember that cars, they are just like people - they just get nervous, suffer and fall in love. They even feel hunger - sit on the same gasoline and oil, and you will win it yourself. Conclusion - in these May days it is time to find a new gas station, there the fuel will be tastier and the staff will be more polite.But do not buy food for yourself in these establishments - a smiling seller is not an indicator of quality food (what is good for a car is a test for the driver's stomach).

Aquarius

Aquarians, if on these May days the connection on your mobile phone suddenly gets lost, do not jump out of the passenger compartment and do not climb onto the roof - this machine conjured up, your iron horse is very annoyed by endless phone conversations while driving. Unplug the machine, throw it in the glove compartment and tell the car a new road joke. By the way, this week they celebrate a holiday - many, many years ago in May they sent the first telegram (Morse tried). And the stars wondered why the traffic cops were tapping their wands and dancing strangely, saying: dot, dash - the guys just played childhood, and they portray spies.

Fishes

Pisces, it's good for the representatives of your sign - get behind the wheel and roll where the road leads. Directly - miracles, on the right - adventures, and on the left - an affectionate traffic cop. But do not look back - the policeman UAZ has too fierce muzzle, who cannot overtake you in any way. And you yourself stop and invite the driver for tea from a thermos - this week is World Neighborhood Day, and the driver will certainly be delighted with such news. If you create a traffic jam, it doesn't matter either - all motorists are happy to get out of their cars and stretch their tired legs. You look, and you accidentally meet tenants from your house - in the role of drivers they are completely different: vigorous and cheerful, just how merrily they poison road bikes.

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